- Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
- If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.
- The shortest horror story: Monday.
- Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.
What would you, as an uninvolved party, say on the topic of intelligence?
- How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her.
How to win the heart of a man? Come naked and carry a pack of beer.
- Intelligence relentlessly rides in your wake – but you are faster.
4 bottles of bleach: $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners: $10.00.
- The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
The password to your life is “Humor”.
- Good persuasion technique:
Come over to the dark side… we’ve got candy.
- A truth of life:
Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!
- German saying:
Too long speeches lead to no actions.
- Some harsh morning reality:
The early bird dies of sleep deprivation.
- The weekend has landed:
Goodbye, social status and dignity. I’ll see you Monday.
- Don’t share the host’s music taste?:
“I believe they are actually using this music to keep the hobos from train stations.”
- Need to defend a messy apartment?
We maintain an alternative lifestyle.
- A smooth break-up line:
There was a time when I would have given myself to you, now I’m not even willing to throw up in your direction.
Thank you, I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow creates a new hairdo for me every morning.
What not to say when you get pulled over:
Police officer: Papers.
Dear math exercise book, kindly grow up finally and solve your own problems!
- When you just want to be mean:
If I were you, I’d wish to be me!
- Sunday early bird:
Why do you call so early? It is Sunday! 3 pm in the morning!!!