Who’s the fastest

  14 Oct 2016

Three kids argue, whose father is the fastes. One says:

– My father is the fastest, he can overtake the arrow that he shooted with the arch.

The second one: [restrict]

– My father is even faster – when he hunts, he can gunshoot an animal and run up to the animal before it fells down.

The third:

– You actually don’t understand what speed is. My father works in municipality. He finishes work at 4:30 pm, but he’s back home by 3:45 pm already

****

Sleeping

A boss tells his employee:

– You are fired. You have been sleeping during the working hours.

– But boss, I’m not the only one who did this.

– That’s right, but you were the only one who slept with my wife.

***

Client at a bank

A client comes to a bank:

– My cheque was returned with a remark: “Insufficient funds”. I’d like to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?

***

Psychologist’s office

A woman comes to a psychologist and asks:

– I have recently found out that my husband has a mistress. Should I tell that to him?

– No need to do that, – tells the psychologist. – I bet he knows it.

****

About money

An elderly man remembers the good old days: “when I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes,  2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras.

Vegetarians do not eat animals. They simply eat their food. [/restrict]