Who’s the fastest
Three kids argue, whose father is the fastes. One says:
– My father is the fastest, he can overtake the arrow that he shooted with the arch.
The second one: [restrict]
– My father is even faster – when he hunts, he can gunshoot an animal and run up to the animal before it fells down.
– You actually don’t understand what speed is. My father works in municipality. He finishes work at 4:30 pm, but he’s back home by 3:45 pm already
A boss tells his employee:
– You are fired. You have been sleeping during the working hours.
– But boss, I’m not the only one who did this.
– That’s right, but you were the only one who slept with my wife.
Client at a bank
A client comes to a bank:
– My cheque was returned with a remark: “Insufficient funds”. I’d like to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?
A woman comes to a psychologist and asks:
– I have recently found out that my husband has a mistress. Should I tell that to him?
– No need to do that, – tells the psychologist. – I bet he knows it.
An elderly man remembers the good old days: “when I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras.
Vegetarians do not eat animals. They simply eat their food. [/restrict]