Walk, Don’t Run
“The road is long with many a winding turns…” Tom Rosenthal
Our souls are made of three parts- mind, emotions, and power of choice. We have learned so much about our brains that we not only have mental Intelligence, we also have emotional intelligence, physical intelligence, and spiritual intelligence. To live a healthier life, these parts must be reconciled. When our emotions are damaged, they control our decisions, behaviors, and attitudes. There’s no reconciliation. Emotions tend to overpower the others. And everything is organized around preventing exposure keeping us from being real.
High School years were the loneliest of my life. I was so emotionally damaged that I suffered with cognitive distortions. I simply got lost and couldn’t get geometry. I asked my instructor, “What is geometry got to do with my life?” He replied, “Geometry is about relationships.” He drew a triangle, and inside the triangle he drew a square then drew a circle around the two shapes. It was perfect. I didn’t quite understand the concept until I went through inner healing. This is relationship within my soul. Relational but detached. Like cells in our bodies, relational but detached, moving at its individual sphere. When they attach to each other cancer grows. Legalistic church left no room for me to think for myself. And faith became a certainty. Self-condemnation was intense and laborous.
Emotional detachment is like a triangle secure of being triangle that even when a square flies off the handle the mind becomes proactive. Not reactive. We remain a triangle, like a candle burning in the night, unmoved by the wind. We practice self-control. We are selfish beings thinking we are the true model of a rich and full life. And with emotional damages, we try to control others just to relieve our fears and shame. But we cannot change people. We can only influence others.
What I write may influence some but not all. Thus I detach emotionally trusting that any results of the work I do is God’s business. Thomas Merton writes, “If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never write anything that can be read. If you want to help other people you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men (people) will condemn.” I would be the first one to say I haven’t quite gotten my crap together. I’m still in process. We are on a journey together with our doubts [and faith]. True faith is never merely a source of spiritual comfort. It may indeed bring peace, but before it does so it may involve struggle.
God works in our lives individually and mysteriously. We are so intricately crafted that there is no simple solution that fits all. Journey is the same but the paths differ. To forgive heals our emotional damages, and make room for a whole new way of thinking. Thus we reconcile (harmonize) our soul. An ongoing process that sometimes we just need to sit, rest and reflect before walking again.
God doesn’t run. He walks. The only time the image of God running was when he ran to meet his son who was lost and just returned home. So we walk. And when it gets too hard, he carries us!