Three Penny Tip
A man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves his tip, three pennies.
As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, “You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves.” [restrict]
The man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. “Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?”
“Well, this penny tells me you’re a thrifty man. Barely able to conceal his pride.”
The man utters, “Hmm, true enough.”
“And this penny, it tells me you’re a bachelor.” Surprised at her perception, he says, “Well, that’s true, too.”
“And the third penny tells me that your father was one, too.”
An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there’s any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he’s in luck, there’s a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, “What on earth did you put on this pizza?”
The delivery man bows deeply and says, “We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only.”
Angry Pizza Customer
An angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:
Customer: Yo, I ordered a Pizza and it came with no toppings on it or anything, Its just plain bread!
Domino’s: We’re extremely sorry to hear about this.
Customer (minutes later): Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down! [/restrict]