The Sitter

  02 Sep 2016

Many years ago I had stopped in to bring my girlfriend some pizza while she was babysitting.

We received a call that her grandmother had been taken to the hospital, so I agreed to watch the children, so she could meet her family at the hospital.[restrict]

Well, the parents were at a movie and these were the days before cell phones, so I couldn’t get in touch with them. I thought I was doing pretty well, though. At bedtime I sent the kids upstairs to bed and settled down to watch some TV.

One child kept creeping down the stairs, but I just kept sending him back to bed.

At 9 pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, asking whether her son was there.

I said, “No.”

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, “I’m here, Mom, but he won’t let me go home!”

****

My Dad Writes A Few Words

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, “My Dad writes a few words, he calls it a poem, they give him $100.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad writes a few words, he calls it a song, they give him $200.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad writes a few words, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

****

Don’t Want to Hear It

At the supermarket, a woman shopped with her four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, “Mommy! Mommy!” while she tried to shop.

Finally, she blurted out, “I don’t want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!”

The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly, “Excuse me, miss.”

****

The Cat Killed By Curiosity

The six year old daughter enjoyed asking questions. She enjoyed asking lots of questions. Finally, one day, the girl’s mom had had enough. “Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?” asked the mom.

“No,” replied the girl.

“There was once a cat who was very inquisitive. One day, this cat looked into a big whole, fell in, and died!”

The little girl just stood there quietly, deep in her own thoughts. There was a pause. “So what was in the hole?” [/restrict]