The Perfect Man
- The perfect man is gentle
- Never cruel and never mean
- He has a beautiful smile
- And keeps his face so clean. [restrict]
- The perfect man loves children
- And will raise them by your side
- He will be a good father
- And a good husband to his bride.
- The perfect man loves cooking
- Cleaning and vacuuming too
- He’ll do anything in his power
- To convey his love to you.
- The perfect man is sweet
- Writing poetry from your name
- He’s a best friend to your mother
- and kisses away your pain.
- He will never make you cry
- or batter you in any way
- To hell with this s..pid poem
- The perfect man is gay.
**
Wisdom of Larry, the Cable Guy
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
- Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
- How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
- OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
- What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
- Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
- Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow [/restrict]