The Perfect Man

  12 Sep 2017

 

  • The perfect man is gentle
  • Never cruel and never mean
  • He has a beautiful smile
  • And keeps his face so clean. [restrict]
  • The perfect man loves children
  • And will raise them by your side
  • He will be a good father
  • And a good husband to his bride.
  • The perfect man loves cooking
  • Cleaning and vacuuming too
  • He’ll do anything in his power
  • To convey his love to you.
  • The perfect man is sweet
  • Writing poetry from your name
  • He’s a best friend to your mother
  • and kisses away your pain.
  • He will never make you cry
  • or batter you in any way
  • To hell with this s..pid poem
  • The perfect man is gay.

**

Wisdom of Larry, the Cable Guy

  1. A day without sunshine is like night.
  2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
  6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
  9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
  10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
  12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
  13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
  14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
  15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
  18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
  19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
  20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
  22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
  23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow [/restrict]