The Mystery of Transformation -Part II
If we strive only to be good and perfect, we become hateful; for too much of the vital energy within is being denied. – John Bradshaw
Someone said, “It takes courage to be imperfect.” It’s important to internalize this truth and make it a part of who we are as courageous individuals. Sometimes we say we’re imperfect but do we really believe what we say. Maya Angelou says, “One isn’t necessary born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or true.” [restrict]
I saw a car bumper sticker that said, “Be patient with me, God is not done with me yet.”
Let’s look at the last two windows that when recognized and admitted as obstacles change can occur:
Aloof/Hidden Secrets This person lives in a secret world. They don’t allow others to know about themselves. They know themselves but are fearful of letting others know. Those around them do not know them either. What do others really know about you? Have you allowed yourself to get close enough to others to share who you really are inside? We hide behind something, keeping distance for fear of being found out.
Hidden Potential. This is a combination of Bull-In-A-China Shop and Aloof/Hidden Secrets. It is the saddest of all conditions. These people don’t know themselves and others don’t know them either. This means both parties have to invest the energy to communicate and get feedback from one another.
Example: Someone asked me why I think he had potential. He was not fishing for compliment. He really didn’t know. I replied, “Well, I see you do well in school when you want to… (he laughed). Now go find it.” He asked, “How do I find it?” Sarcasm flew by so fast I had to catch it. I asked, “What makes you come alive? That’s the question. Look at the four pillars of education that can lead you to find what you want in life – KNOW, DO, LIVE TOGETHER, BE. What captures your heart is your passion awaiting. Will that passion help you to know, do, live with others, and be yourself? Get to know yourself and go from there. Come back when you feel stuck.” I continued, I became a counselor later in life because I was so messed up. I felt like I was sabotaging myself because of some unknown parts of my life – behavior or attitude. I had to find out about my heart. I did it for me. I’ve never been happier because I’m not doing it for anyone. I’m doing it for me and my God. One of the reasons I write this column is really getting to know myself (transparent) and hope that maybe someone can relate or reflect. I’m still being processed. Elik be nice, God is not done with me yet!
Maturity is a social process therefore we need each other. And when our rough edges are pointed out to us whether out of love or spite, we will ourselves not to get upset or hurt. We find a safe place and contemplate (converse with God) about the booger in your nose. Practice self-awareness of your inner world. Transformation from that defensive popinjay into self-respect mysteriously appears. You begin to even like yourself. The flip-side of self-hatred is defense and blame. [/restrict]