The King and the Princess

  05 Aug 2016

 

There was once a king who had a majestic daughter, he was extremely protective of her that he made a rule that no man is ever to approach his daughter.

In the kingdom there were 4 men that were completely lost by her beauty and wanted to lay with her. They decided that they will disobey the king’s ruling and kiss her. At night fall they plotted to sneak in to her quarters and execute their plan. Night fall came and they all broke in an kissed the princess.[restrict]

Pleasing to the princess she moaned in pleasure alarming the guards. The four men were held and brought to the king. The king decided to put them to death but the princess pleaded for them and the king decided he will release them on one condition. They must go out to the wilderness and return with 7 fruits.

Excited with such an easy escape they rushed out: out of the 4 men 3 returned the 1st had 7 apples, the 2nd with 7 pears and the 3rd with 7 grapes.

Becoming impatient with the 4th man the king said let’s continue with the punishment, he told the men that in order to be released they will each have to fit the 7 fruits into their mouth.

The 1st tried with his apples he manged one but couldn’t fit the others and was put to death.

The 2nd desperate to live manged 3 pears but couldn’t fit the others and was put to death.

The 3rd easily popped 6 of the grapes in his mouth but with the 7th he burst out with laughter and spit all 7 out and was put to death.

Before he was put to death the others looked at the 3rd guy and asked: “What went wrong with you, why couldn’t you fit 7 grapes in your mouth?”

He replied, “Of course I could but I just lost it when I saw the 4th guy coming with 7 watermelons.”

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Cream & Sugar

A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner.

The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty. As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee.

The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full.

After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him, “How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?”

The man says, “Two’s fine.”

She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup. “And cream?” she asks.

The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, “You wouldn’t dare!” [/restrict]