The following headlines were a..

  13 Mar 2018

The following headlines were actually printed in newspapers. The ironyin some of these are absolutely astonishing, hilariously funny (thoughsometimes awkward). Check them out:

– Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

– Miners Refuse to Work after Death

– Include Your Children when Baking Cookies [restrict]

– Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

– Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

– Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

– Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

– Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

– Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

– Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

– Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

– Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

– Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

– British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

– Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

– Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe

– Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

– Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

– War Dims Hope for Peace

– Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

– Deer Kill 17,000

– Stolen Painting Found by Tree

– Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

– Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire

– Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

– Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half

– New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

– Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

– Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

– Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

– Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

– Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

– New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

– Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

– Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

– Eye Drops Off Shelf

– Teachers Strike Idle Kids

– Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

– Princess Diana Was Alive Hours Before She Died [/restrict]

 

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