One-liners To Cheer You Up

  03 Jan 2017

And Make Your Colleagues Laugh Hate

  • I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • A day without sunshine is like…, night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers. [restrict]
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • 99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • Remember, half the people you know are below average.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  • Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
  • Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
  • Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
  • OK,….. so what’s the speed of dark?
  • How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice? [/restrict]

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