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NgaraUbeng

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by December 8, 2017 Women's Corner

The world breaks everyone.  The very good, the very gentle, and the very brave.  And those it doesn’t break, it kills. – Ernest Hemingway

There’s no shame in being a broken woman [or man].  I should know.  We just pick up the pieces and start rebuilding with Christ as the Cornerstone.  He is important since all other stones will be set in reference to him.  He determines the position of the whole structure.  It’s tough and long but he will bring our lives into completion on arrival.    [restrict]

There’s a story of a French postman who spent thirty years of his life building his dream home-a palace made of pebbles and stones he found along his postal route.  Very encouraging.   NOTHING is wasted in building a life. Some calls ‘identity consolidation’. When I think I’m doing better, rocks, stones, and pebbles come tumbling down. I must deal with each one, to make it a part of restoration. If I ignore them I will fall hard looking for a drug of choice to endure the pain.

Identity consolidation is who I am in relationship to all positive and negative involving both social conditions to mental health (psychosocial functioning) as I continue to grow into adulthood. Everything I’ve learned is coming clear at this point in my life. I was reminded the other day that when I was 18-19 years of age, I was alone -no parents, no siblings, no home. I became an imposition to relatives that shamed me to the core.  Ked kora di ultab ra Ubeng. There’s no room for me in the house.  On the outside, a cliff drop-off into a river below and tall mountains to climb on the other side. It’s a frightening picture.  A revelation that prompted me to call the founder of NgaraUbeng. I said, “Ngmeral sebechel el ngarngii a skulem, e ngarngii a blim, e ngarngii a sesei el ududem ra bank, e still e ke NgaraUbeng.  Le aikal rengud a rechad a meral chetituokl e ktekudl.”

I know why I was very insecure as a younger woman.  My biggest issue has always been: “I’m uncomfortable in family gathering.” There’s this gnawing spirit of rejection deep within my soul telling me not to get too close, afraid of being shamed and abandoned again.  I’m blaming NO ONE here – I accept it as the path that was laid before me. God said, “The bruised reed, he will not break.”  True, I ain’t dead? LOL

With this memory, I forgive God because in my mind, I blamed him.  God does not bypass the personality equipment by which we perceive things.  And when those perceiving receptors have been severely damaged, the biblical truths get distorted.

This journey is long and hard.   We need a friend who has walked the road before to walk with us.  I found that friend in Christ Jesus.  He understands… he was wounded, heart broken, bleeding, suspended in space all alone, while people hurled insults at him.  He prayed for them instead,  “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

In Christ, damaged emotions can be healed, broken people can be restored, and lost can be rescued.  His love is true unconditional.  And true love heals and affects spiritual growth.   [/restrict]

 

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