Motivation

  28 Feb 2017

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.” [restrict]

***

Two factory workers talking:

Woman: “I can make the boss give me the day off.”

Man: “And how would you do that?”

Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

Boss comes in: “What are you doing?”

Woman: “I’m a light bulb.”

Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”

The man starts to follow her and the boss says: “Where are you going?”

The man says: “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

***

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”

***

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

***

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

****

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” – said a boy to a girl.

“Well, do you know who I am?” – asked the girl.

“No.” – replied the boy.

“I’m the principal’s daughter.” – said the girl.

“And do you know who I am?” – asked the boy.

“No.” – she replied.

“Thank goodness!” – said the boy with a sign of relief. [/restrict]