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Little Johnny jokes

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by February 14, 2017 Joke's Time

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.

Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?”

“Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.” [restrict]

****

After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, “You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?”

Little Johnny offers, “Miss, it’s so we wouldn’t wake all those people sleeping.”

***

Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, “Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?”

Little Johnny smiles proudly, “No Miss, there’s no need, my mom cooks really well.

***

Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. She says, “Johnny, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Now off to bed you go!” There’s a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.”

***

The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”

“I’ve got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.

“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means.”

“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

***

The teacher was trying to put to use her recent psychology education.

She asked everyone in her class, “Alright, if any of you think you are stupid, please stand up!”

A few seconds pass by and then Little Johnny stands up.

Startled, the teacher says, “Oh, do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”

“No, Miss, but I didn’t want to leave you standing all alone!”

***

he teacher was trying to put to use her recent psychology education.

She asked everyone in her class, “Alright, if any of you think you are stupid, please stand up!”

A few seconds pass by and then Little Johnny stands up.

Startled, the teacher says, “Oh, do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”

“No, Miss, but I didn’t want to leave you standing all alone!”

****

Teacher: “If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?”

Without hesitation, Johnny answers, “Two dollars.”

Teacher isn’t happy, “Come on, Johnny, you don’t know how to count.”

Johnny shrugs, “Maybe, but I do know my dad!”

***

Teacher asks his class one day, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”

Johnny answers first, saying, “I will follow in my father’s footsteps and become a policeman.”

Teacher raises his eyebrows, “Johnny, I didn’t know your father is a policeman.”

“Well, he isn’t,” explains Johnny. “He’s a burglar.” [/restrict]

 

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