Lawyer trying to prove his client’s innocence backfires
A fellow’s wife went missing and being that everyone knew that he and his wife were in a big fight he was accused of murdering her and disposing of the body. When witness after witness came to the stand testifying to all sorts of horrible threats that the accused threatened his wife and things were looking quite dim for the accused the man’s lawyer got up to the stand.[restriction]
“Ladies and Gentleman of the jury I have something quite exciting to tell you, if you would all please direct your attention towards the door behind me on my left you will see the supposedly dead women walk in on her own two feet.”
There was a loud murmuring in the courtroom as all eyes turned towards the door. “Ladies and Gentleman” said the lawyer after a few seconds of anxious waiting, “To be honest with you, nobody is going to be walking through the door, however from the fact that your eyes all turned towards the door it is quite obvious that you are not sure beyond the shadow of a doubt about my client’s guilt.”
To the lawyer’s great surprise, the jury decided that the man was guilty.
“But how could you say that he is guilty? Didn’t I prove it to you?” Questioned the lawyer.
“It is true that we all turned towards the door,” one old lady explained, “but there was person who didn’t.”
“Who’s that?” Questioned the indignant lawyer.
“Your client.” Came the reply.
I Have A Question
A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float?
The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish breath underwater?”
Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, the father repied. “Don’t rightly know son.” Finally, the boy asked his father, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”
The father replied, “Of course not, you don’t ask questions, you never learn nothin’.”
A young man at this constructi…
A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where you mouth is?” he said. “I’ll bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the young man replied. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, “All right. Get in.” [/restriction]