A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”
Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”
Man: “Wow – so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?” [restrict]
Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”
Bob: “Holy schmoozes, I just fell off a 30 ft ladder.”
Jim: “No way man, are you okay?”
Bob: “Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step.”
Police officer: “Your car is too heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I’m going to have to take away your driver’s license.”
Driver: “You’re kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce tops!”
Are you two twins?
No, why do you ask?
Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes.
OK that’s enough, your driver’s license please.
A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him: „Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“
And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.
Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?”
Man: “A garbage man. And you know why?”
Wife: “No, why?”
Man: “Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.”
Mother: Eat your bread.
Child: I don’t like bread. Why do I have to eat the bread.
Mother: So you become big and strong.
Child: Why do I have to become big and strong?
Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to your family.
Child: But I don’t like bread! [/restrict]