An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find a horseshoe was nailed to the wall over his desk.
The American said with a nervous laugh, “Surely you don’t believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?” [restrict]
Bohr chuckled. “I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not! How can one argue with such logic?”
HIS FIRST FUNERAL
A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a graveside service at a small country cemetery. There was to be no funeral, just the committal, because the deceased had no family or friends left.
The young pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon lost his way. After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a half-hour late.
The hearse was no where in sight, and the workman were relaxing under a nearby tree, eating their lunch. The pastor went to the open grave and found that the vault lid was already in place. He took out his book and read the service. As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workman say, “Maybe we’d better tell him that’s a septic tank.”
A mom in Virginia was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He asked her why all their relatives from Wisconsin “talk funny” and sound like their noses are plugged up.
“They have a different accent,” she explained. “Everybody talks in different ways. To them, we sound like we talk very slow, and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out.”
His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, “You mean they hear funny, too?”
GUESS WHICH ONE
Laught Break Jokes
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married.
He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women, and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The red-head in the middle.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
“I don’t like her.”
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.
One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady chimed in, “Yes, some times I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one responded, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them “That must be the door, I’ll get it!” [/restrict]