Sat. Aug 17th, 2019


  • What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
  • Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
  • Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
  • Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.
  • What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie. [restrict]
  • My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
  • What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.
  • Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.
  • How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.
  • What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
  • What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
  • Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
  • Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
  • Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
  • Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
  • What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
    I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap. [/restrict]