Highjink

  28 Feb 2017

Teacher asked George: “How can you prove the earth is round?”

George replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”

**

Teacher: “Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?” [restrict]

Student: “A heart attack.”

**

Teacher: “This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.”

Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.”

 

***

Sylvia: “Dad, can you write in the dark?”

Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?”

Sylvia: “Your name on this report card.”

***

Mother: “Why did you get such a low mark on that test?”

Junior: “Because of absence.”

Mother: “You mean you were absent on the day of the test?”

Junior: “No, but the kid who sits next to me was.”

***

Teacher: “John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?”

John: “You told me to do it without using tables.”

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Teacher: “Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.”

Winnie: “Me.”

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Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

Louie: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”

***

**

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”

Vincent: “One dollar.”

Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”

Vincent: “You don’t know my father.” [/restrict]