“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean
Have you ever witnessed children playing and all of a sudden there’s a row, a quarrel. But in the next minute they are friends again? Children move on and play as best friends. When a parent interferes, the child is not allowed to grow up as they should. That child will always be dependable on mommy for little things. As an adult, s/he will run to mommy for consolation. [restrict]
And if you think about it, there are many people who have grown older, grandparents even, but act childishly. They may be very strong and do things very few people can do and quite successful at it, but are still childish. In a sense they remain in a stage of protracted, extended infancy and childhood when one should have grown beyond it. Nothing is more delightful than a child who acts like child, and nothing is more dreadful than an adult who keeps on acting like a child. This kind of behavior can be downright disruptive and is sometimes destructive. They’re kill-joy – one who spoils other people’s fun or enjoyment.
Saint Paul says we must put away childish things… a Greek work katergeo, which means, “to render inoperative, inactive, or powerless; to remove the meaning and significance from; to free from that which has been keeping one bound or tied up.” Maturity doesn’t come simply because we grow older. We can be chronological grown-ups and psychological children at the same time. To be finished with childish things requires action by that person.
This biblical principle forms a fitting foundation for the fact that some people must undergo a healing of memories. Certain problems which prevent maturity we call hangups. We say people’s hangups keep them in a bind. The words are amazingly accurate. When people have never faced their painful memories or been loosened (unbound) from them they are still hung up at a certain age and stage of their development. Yes, their bodies are of adult size and their minds fully developed. But their emotions never grew past a certain level. At that particular point they got stuck, hung up; hence the term, personality or emotional hangups. Many of those hangups come as a result of memories which bind and hold us in a vice-like grip. Such painful memories are like weights on a swimmer’s body. They keep pulling him down so that he is just barely able to keep afloat, or they consume so much emotional and spiritual energy that he is not able to make any progress.
The advice to parents to “not interfere with your children at play, quarrel and play again” is priceless. They will begin to develop emotional intelligence at an early age.
We’re imperfect but forgiven. Hence, we forgive the painful memories from our childhood years and mature as adults. Developing JOY: delighted to be with you. To forgive and forget is a myth. Our minds are incredibly complex, we can’t forget. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. Forgiveness takes the sting from painful memories and loosen us from unpleasant hangups (1960s). Forgiveness is like water irrigating the garden of the Castle Within (Sister Teresa of Avila) so seeds of love can grow and bear fruits.
A potter does his greatest work when the clay is soft and ready to be molded into something beautiful. [/restrict]