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GETTING OLDER

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by December 13, 2016 Joke's Time

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.
One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.” [restrict]
The second lady chimed in, “Yes, some times I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one responded, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”
***
UN WITH PENGUINS
Reported in Audubon Society Magazine:
A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game.
Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly along it at the water’s edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the paper reports, “The pilots fly out to sea and turn directly to the penguin colony and overfly it.
“Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall over gently onto their backs.”
***
Keep Taking the Pills?
Funny Doctor’s adviceOne day, Harry went to see his doctor and told him that he hadn’t been feeling at all well. The doctor examined Harry, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills.
Looking at Harry he says, ‘Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another large glass of water.’
Startled to be put taking much medicine, the man stammered, ‘L………..L…….L………Lummee, Doc, exactly what is my problem?’
Prescriptions ….. [/restrict]

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