Funny words

  07 Apr 2017

  • I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the 8-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.
  • A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. [restrict]
  • The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
  • Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
  • My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.
  • A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
  • If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
  • It’s not how good your work is, it’s how well you explain it.
  • Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
  • The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
  • Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
  • Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
  • I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.
  • I like my job only marginally more than I like being homeless. [/restrict]