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Funny sayings

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by April 25, 2017 Highjink
  •  If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
  • Organized people are simply too lazy to search for stuff. [restrict]
  • A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. That gives hope to quite a few people.
  • My relationship is like an iPad. I don’t have an iPad.
  • I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.
  • If I can still lie on the ground without having to hold myself, I’m not drunk.
  • Do people talk about you behind your back? Simply fart.
  • They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.
  • As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me.
  • There are people who are a living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.
  • When somebody doesn’t get something:
  •  I’m sorry, I have neither the patience, nor the coloring crayons to explain this to you.
  • Finally, the spring is here! I’m so thrilled I wet my plants. [/restrict]
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