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Funny Jokes

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by March 24, 2017 Highjink
  • Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever’s bugging you.
  • I use artificial sweetener at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss.
  • A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. [restrict]
  • The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
  • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  • We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
  • I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
  • The boss frowns on anyone yelling: “Hey Weirdo!” He says too many people look up from their work.
  • Things really haven’t gotten worse. We’ve just improved our inter-departmental communication skills.
  • Anything that could possibly go wrong often does – as well as a thing or two that couldn’t possibly.
  • If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
  • If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake.
  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
  • I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  • I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
  • Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  • To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
  • A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does. [/restrict]
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