Man: I wish I was the Enzyme DNA Helicase.
Man: So I could unzip your genes. [restrict
Teacher: Johnny, what’s H2SO4?
Johnny: Oh…er…hang on, I know this…it’s on the tip of my tongue.
Teacher: Well spit it out then!
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of drinks. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!”
Two atoms are walking down the street. Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
A chemistry professor couldn’t resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, “Remember, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!”
The anti aircraft guns fired at the bomber pilot as he emptied his load of Hydrochloric Acid over enemy territory. He smiled with satisfaction at the voice over his radio. “Congratulations, you’ve just neutralized a dangerous base!”
At the end of the semester, a 10th-grade chemistry teacher asked her students, what was the most important that they learned in lab. A student promptly raised his hand and said, “Never Like the Spoon.”
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a bunsen burner. “Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!” said the ice. The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor. The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said, “This solution looks a bit weird. Are you sure you used the right set of reagents?” The student replied, “Absolutely. According to my calculations, this is one normal solution.” [/restrict]