Engineer vs Doctor

  10 Mar 2017

An Engineer was unemployed for a long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: “Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000.” One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: “I have lost taste in my mouth.” [restrict]
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “This is Gasoline!” Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money. Doctor: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “But that is Gasoline!” Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Doctor: “My eyesight has become weak.”
Engineer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000.”
Doctor: “But this is $500…”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
***
Paul got a part time job …
Paul got a part time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. “I just want you to know,” the supervisor said, “that I’m very pleased with the job you did today. You’re one of the fastest workers we’ve ever had.”
“Thank you, Sir” said Paul, beaming, “and tomorrow I’ll try to do even better.”
“Better?” the supervisor asked with astonishment. “How can you possibly do any better than you did today?”
Paul replied, “Tomorrow I’m going to read the addresses.”
***
Master: “Why didn’t you water the plants yesterday?” Servant: “It was raining.” Master: “Don’t make excuses! You could have used an umbrella!!
****
Teacher: Who is the father of the nation? Student: I don’t know. Teacher: What does hen lay? Student: I don’t know. Teacher: What is the average speed of cars? Student: I don’t know. Teacher: Ask your parents for help and tell me tomorrow. Next day, the student met the teacher and answered: Mahatma Gandhi lays eggs at the average speed of 45km/hour.
****
Polly: “Does your grandmother read the Bible?” Elaine: “Sure does. Day and night.” Polly: “But why does she read it so much?” Elaine: “I guess she’s cramming for her finals.”
***
Master: “Why didn’t you water the plants yesterday?” Servant: “It was raining.” Master: “Don’t make excuses! You could have used an umbrella!!  [/restrict]