Employee Want Ad Translations

  19 Dec 2017

  • Energetic self-starter: You’ll be working on commission.
  • Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
  • Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this. [restrict]
  • Fast learner: You will get no training from us.
  • Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.
  • Good organizational skills: You’ll be handling the filing.
  • Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.
  • Management training position: You’ll be a salesperson with a wide territory.
  • Much client contact: You handle the phone or make “cold calls” on clients.
  • Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.
  • Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.
  • Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.
  • Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.
  • Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.
  • Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters. [/restrict]

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