Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!”
The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You are wrong. That’s not the moon; that’s the sun!” [restrict]
Both continued arguing for awhile when they came upon another drunk walking along. So they stopped him and said, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?”
The third drunk look at the sky and then looked at them and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
The dorm rules
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”
He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: “How much for a season pass?”
“How come you’re late?” asks
“How come you’re late?” asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
“It was awful,” she explains. “I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank goodness, I took that first aid course — all my training came back to me in a flash.”
“What did you do?” asks the bartender.
“I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!”
A company had a vast scrap yard..
A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, “Someone might steal from it at night.” So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then management said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people; one person to write the instructions and one person to do time studies.
Then management said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing his tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then management said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a timekeeper and a payroll officer; then hired two more people.
Then management said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative section and hired three people; an Administrative Officer, Assistant AdministrativeOfficer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then management said, “We’ve had this command in operation for one year now and we’re $18,000 over budget. We have to cutback on overall costs.”
So they laid off the night watchman. [/restrict]