Cleaner Polishes Off Patients

  13 Mar 2018

This is true story from the newspaper

The Cape Times (South Africa):

“For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning” a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters.

“There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues.” “However, further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths… [restrict]

“It seems that every Friday morning a cleaning lady would enter the ward, remove the plug that powered the patient’s life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear the screams and eventual death rattle over the whirring of her polisher”.

“We are sorry, and have sent a strong letter to the cleaner in question.

Further, the Free State Health and Welfare Department is arranging for an electrician to fit an extra socket, so there should be no repetition of this incident. The inquiry is now closed.” (Cape Times) The headline of the newspaper story was, “Cleaner Polishes Off Patients”

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The seven dwarfs went off to w…

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.

However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: “hello – is anyone there. Can anyone hear me”.

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:

” Australia will win the Rugby World Cup”

“Thank god” said Snow White “at least Dopey’s still alive”

***

How many did you catch…

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lillies.

“Tch Tch!” said the passerby to himself. “What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see if I can help.”

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, “What are you doing, my friend?”

“Fishin’, sir.”

“Fishin’, eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?”

The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, “Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?”

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, “You are the sixth today, sir!”  [/restrict]