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Chemistry

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by March 7, 2017 Joke's Time

A student goes into his lab right at the end of the class hour. Fearing he’ll get an “F”, he asks a fellow student what she’s been doing.

“We’ve been observing water under the microscope. We’re suppose to write up what we see.” The page of her notebook is filled with little figures resembling circles and ellipses with hair on them. [restrict]

The panic-stricken student hears the bell goes off, opens his notebook and writes, “During this laboratory, I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many H’s as O’s.”

****

A chemistry professor wanted to teach the 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

“Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, as happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…

“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

***

A group of students were discussing which of their specialities was of the most practical use. A fellow student appeared at the table with a large pink gin.

The chemist proceeded to explain why it was pink in color.

The physicist measured the specific gravity.

The mathematician calculated the cost per unit volume.

The doctor outlined what it would do to the liver.

The engineer picked it up and drank it.

***

A chemistry professor asked his students to go and look for any substance and bring it for experiment.

The students went and searched for it, some looked for aluminum, others silver, magnesium, calcium but among them, there was a boy who went and fill a balloon with air and brought it to the professor. [/restrict]

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