Black humor

  20 Jan 2017

Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.

Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too. [restrict]

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Doctor: You’re obese.

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Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion.

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A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.”

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Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

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I visited my new friend in his flat. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

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Black humor is like a pair of healthy kidneys. Not everyone has it.

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A doctor walks in a cemetery one afternoon when a hand shoots through the earth and grabs his ankle. A hollow voice speaks from underneath the ground, “You’re a doctor, right? Do you have anything against worms?”

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How did the dentist suddenly become a brain surgeon?

A slip of the hand.

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I had to get rid of the boyfriend. My cat got allergic to him. [/restrict]