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As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember:

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by January 5, 2018 Highjink
  1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It’s called “Ministers Do More Than Lay People.”
  2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
  3. The difference between the Pope and your boss…the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. [restrict]
  4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
  5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
  6.  It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
  7. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
  8. My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.
  9. A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.”
  10. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn’t have to worry about a Will. He said, “Will? What Will? I’m making a list of the people I want to bite.”
  11. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. [/restrict]

 

 

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