Wed. Jan 29th, 2020

A young man wanted to purchase…

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine’s Day. As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision. After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.

Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time. [restrict]

The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.

The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.

The young man mailed his Valentine’s Day gift with the following note:

“This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings.

If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.

“These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely.

I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I’ll be kissing them in the future. I hope you’ll wear them Friday night for me.

Love,

Honey Bear

P.S. The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little @#$ showing.

****

The subject of kissing was deb

The subject of kissing was debated with much earnestness for a half hour between the girl and her young man caller. The fellow insisted that it was always possible for a man to kiss a girl at will, whether she chose to permit it or not. The maiden was firm in maintaining that such was not the case.

Finally, it was decided that the only solution of the question must be by a practical demonstration one way or the other. So, they tried it. They clinched, and the battle was on.

After a lively tussle, they broke away. The girl had been kissed — ardently for a period of minutes. Her comment showed an undaunted spirit: “Oh, well, you really didn’t win fair. My foot slipped… Let’s try it again.”

****

Number Jokes

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what’s going on. “Well,” says the older prisoner, “we’ve all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke.”

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, “Number twenty-nine!” This time the whole cell block rocks with the loudest laughter, prisoners rolling on the floor laughing hysterically.

When the guffaws die down, the bewildered new guy turns to the older prisoner and asks, “How come you guys were laughing so hard this time?”

“Oh,”says the older man wiping tears from his eyes, “we’d never heard that one before.” [/restrict]